UP AND DOWN THE CUBE IN THE BOX
UP AND DOWN THE CUBE IN THE BOX is a scenic allegory that dissects human nature with biting humor and a frenetic pace. Set in a minimalist void dominated by a box labeled "PROBLEM," three actors navigate a roller coaster of archetypes: from Ambition and Prudence to Wrath and Lust. Through absurd dialogue and choreographed chaos, the play explores our inability to live without conflict and our strange nostalgia for the very obstacles we create. It is a piece where office noise, existential dread, and the Charleston collide to remind us that even when the "Problem" is moved, the cycle of the ego always starts again.
Esta es una traducción al inglés que busca mantener el ritmo teatral, el tono absurdo y el juego de palabras original de tu obra.
UP AND DOWN THE CUBE IN THE BOX
A Scenic Allegory
SETTING: A minimalist white space. In the center, a signpost with indicating arrows that spin freely. In one corner, a massive wooden box that reads "PROBLEM". The floor is marked with intersecting colored lines.
CHARACTERS (Played by three actors):
ACTOR A: Ambition / Guilt / Wrath.
ACTOR B: Prudence / Utopia / Envy.
ACTOR C: Blind Enthusiasm / Confusion / Lust.
SCENE 1: THE CROSSING OF STANCES
(The music is a frenetic piano ragtime. Sounds of office noise mixed with car horns are heard. AMBITION enters from the right, walking on invisible stilts, carrying a ladder that opens and closes on its own.)
AMBITION: (Screaming at the signpost) No, no, no! That arrow is lying! I’m not going North, I’m going "Up." Make way for Gold! I come from a windowless basement and I’m headed straight for the world’s attic. (Attempts to open the ladder, it gets caught on his foot, he falls flat on his face, then stands up instantly). Nothing happened! Success knows no gravity. My goal is for my shadow to cover all other shadows.
(PRUDENCE enters. She appears out of nowhere, right behind Ambition, as if she had been stuck to his back the whole time.)
PRUDENCE: (Blowing a whistle) FOUL! Aesthetic and technical infraction! I come from the land of "Just in case," and my goal is for the air not to move without my inspection seal. (She pulls out a measuring tape and measures the distance between Ambition's nose and the floor). Inadmissible. You are too close to the ground to be ideal, and too far from logic to be suitable.
AMBITION: Move it, Gray! You’re staining my golden aura! This ladder is my divine right. I’m going to climb on top of that box and from there, I will speak about my sovereign kingdom!
(BLIND ENTHUSIASM enters, bouncing between the two like a neon pink rubber ball.)
BLIND ENTHUSIASM: (Honking an air horn: HONK! HONK!) Wooooo! Energy! Chaos! Movement! I don’t know who you are or what you’re talking about, but I second the motion! Approved! Signed! I come from the spark and I’m headed for the fire! Do we need to go up? Let’s go up! Do we need to go down? Let’s go down! The important thing is not to stay still!
(A physical struggle begins. Ambition tries to open the ladder; Prudence tries to measure the ladder; Enthusiasm tries to use the ladder as a swing. The three end up tangled. Sound of a digital short circuit: "ZAP-ZAP-GLLLLL." The lights go out for a second.)
SCENE 2: THE STAGNATION OF THE CUBE
(Dense, bluish light. Melancholic tango music. The characters have transformed. Now they are stuck to the box that says: "PROBLEM".)
GUILT: (Lying on the floor, hugging the base of the box). It’s useless. I come from error and I’m headed for remorse. This cube is the monument to my failures. It is its most notorious symbol. I am the Guilty One. It weighs a thousand tons. If we try to move it, the universe will collapse. My goal is to stay here until I turn into wood or manure—which is what I am.
UTOPIA: (Looking over her heart-shaped sunglasses). There’s always a Pessimist! You are all weak souls! I come from the eternal tomorrow. This isn’t a box; it’s the seed of a skyscraper of peace. My goal is to build a floating garden on top of this Problem. We just need to believe! (She blows bubbles toward the box).
CONFUSION: (With a trash can on his head, hitting the wood with a spoon). Hello? Is anyone there? Is this the men's room or the emergency exit? I come from doubt and I’m headed toward "maybe." My goal is to find the reality light switch. (To Utopia) Are your bubbles strawberry or mango? Can I eat one?
GUILT: I reject your joy! It’s an insult to my suffering! Let me be the protagonist of the conflict!
UTOPIA: I reject your ridiculous burden! No one appointed you Martyr of the Box. Don’t try to take all the credit—oh, and if you want to die, I won’t object.
(They start pushing the box in opposite directions. They exhaust themselves. They are left panting. Sound of war drums: "BOOM-BOOM-BOOM".)
SCENE 3: THE INVASION OF PASSIONS
(The lights turn red. High-speed galloping music. The characters rip off their outer clothes to reveal the colors of the Passions.)
WRATH: (Clashing pot lids: CLANG!). GET OUT OF HERE! I come from bile and I’m headed for the fire! I hate this cube because it’s not a sphere! I hate being watched! I hate this theater and I hate the audience who just sits there watching us and does nothing! GRRRRR. (Kicks the box and screams in pain). Ahhhhhhg. Cursed inanimate object! I declare war on you!
ENVY: (With a giant magnifying glass, examining Wrath’s hands). And why do your lids shine brighter than my eyes? It’s not fair! I should have those lids. And you (To Lust, who just entered), why are you so... you? I should be you and not you. Why is your desire so big? Can I have some? I want everything you have. I come from lack and I’m coming for what’s yours.
LUST: (Running with a butterfly net). It’s mine! Mine! Everything is delicious! I come from appetite and I’m headed for excess. I want the box, I want the post, I want the orgy confetti, I want the honey, I want the flesh, I want to finish for once without feeling like I need more! AHHHHHG. (Catches Wrath’s head with the net). You’re mine now, you piece of fire!
(A circular chase begins. Wrath chases Envy; Envy chases Lust; Lust chases Wrath. They cross paths, jump over the box, slip. It’s a whirlpool of red, green, and purple. Suddenly, all three crash against the box and freeze.)
SCENE 4: DISILLUSIONMENT AND BLIND HOPE
(Absolute silence. The three characters peel themselves off the box with a suction cup sound. They look at each other, exhausted and cynical.)
CONFUSION/LUST: (Shaking off the net). Well... I have a proposal. If I pull from here, Envy looks over there, and Wrath kicks over yonder... maybe we’ll move this thing. Not out of love, but so we can stop looking at each other’s faces.
(They line up. They push in unison with choreographed effort. The box slides smoothly offstage, gets stuck for a moment, but finally exits the stage. There is a second of triumph: Fanfares, golden light, more fanfares. But the light turns harsh quickly.)
ACTOR A: (Straightening his crooked crown). Let’s be honest: I put in 90% of the effort. You two just went along for the ride. If it weren't for my drive and my undeniable abilities, we’d still be there and the problem would still be present.
ACTOR B: (Tucking away the magnifying glass with contempt). Lie! I found the axis of friction. You’re just a pack animal. Tomorrow, I’m finding another team, one that is at my intellectual level.
ACTOR C: (Staring into the void). And now what do I do! How boring! Now that there’s no problem, I have nothing left to crave. I miss the box. It was a good Problem, very solid. Doesn’t anyone have a spare little problem? Just a tiny one?
(They look at each other with disdain. The audience realizes they are about to repeat Scene 1. Human nature hasn't changed a single millimeter.)
ACTOR A: (To the audience). That’s all... Or what were you expecting? A group hug?
ACTOR B: That only happens in cheesy movies. We are real.
ACTOR C: I mean, we’re a disaster. But what a fun hot mess this was!
(Suddenly, ultra-optimistic, bright CHARLESTON music blasts with happy trumpets. It’s music that ignores human misery. The three actors, reluctantly at first and then with cynical, mechanical joy, begin to dance a perfect can-can.)
ALL: (Singing while dancing toward the audience).
There is no fix, there is no end!
The human being is a beast, my friend!
Tomorrow it all starts again!
But for today... let’s dance instead!
(They take an exaggerated final bow. Actor A tries to exit first, pushing the others; Actor B steals C’s hat at the last second; and Actor C exits waving to someone who doesn't exist as the CURTAIN FALLS FAST.)
THE END
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